If I Can’t Change Your Mind.

Tears fill up my eyes
I’m washed away with sorrow
And somewhere in my mind
I know there’s no tomorrow
I see you’re leaving soon
I guess you’ve had your fill
But if I can’t change your mind
Then no one will

And all throughout the years
I’ve never strayed from you my dear
But you suspect I’m somewhere else
You’re feeling sorry for yourself
Leaving with a broken heart
I love you even still
But if I can’t change your mind
Then no one will

Even though my heart keeps breaking
Don’t you know that I’ll be waiting
Here for you
Then when you return
When will you return
I hope you see I’m dedicated
Look how long that I have waited
If you come back then you will find
A different person
If you change your mind

How can I explain away
Something that I haven’t done
And if you can’t trust me now
You’ll never trust in anyone
With all the crazy doubts you’ve got
I love you even still
But if I can’t change your mind
Then no one will

Someday you’ll see I’ve been true
I’ll stay that way until
But if I can’t change your mind
Then no one will.

He would say this to me. Oh god, what I am I doing? Do I let myself fall in love again and again after he hurts me with his words? Some say it really is as bad as physical abuse, and I know he’d never touch me, but the tones are unecessary. The ones that imply I give no care for him. That I’m the selfish one. At a time I would have given all I had for him. But he grabbed that time out of my hands, and left Us, broken at his feet. What are we going to do? Oh, just act like it didn’t happen. dear. We’ll buy another one. Move past it.

Relationships aren’t like lamps. Okay? You don’t break them and just buy a new one, one who’s shade isn’t stained by that Pinot Noir you bought the other evening. And you definitely can’t just turn them on and off. He acts like that’s what I want. As if it were possible. For either of us.

I am so sick of all of this passive-aggressive Bullshit. The worst is that it’s spewing from my own mouth. I’ve been infected.

*takes time, and exhales.*

I think I just need to remember how strong I really am. I forget, a lot.

Just, take care of yourself.